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"Expect the unexpected"
It is how we can describe death. We know it will come, but we don’t know when, and no one is prepared for it. It is not every day that we hear stories about people who experienced near-death experiences but were able to hear a few and know their perspective on that moment.
One of the interviewees shared that it was just a simple day for her and her friends. They rode a jeepney to go to their Muay Thai training until their vehicle crashed causing her friend to fly towards the front of the jeepney. At first, it made them laugh but still understood how seriously scary that experience was. Another has also shared the moments wherein she’s on the verge of ending her life by jumping from a building. But at that moment, her mother called as she was worried about her, and because of that she realized that death is peaceful for her, but for others, it is not a choice to begin with.
These are just some of the experiences shared and there are many other interesting stories of people about death to be discussed, but what is important is their realization that no one could predict when will it happen to whom and how, it also made people realize how it is important to keep living and cherish their life.
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Although talking about death may not be easy for some, it is a common topic for those who deal with the dead on a regular basis and some of them also have quite a different outlook on this.
With that, the team interviewed three (3) funeral workers, functioning as the manager, driver, and embalmer/mortuary cosmetologist from Funeraria Filipinas, Inc. - Makati, a funeral service for over 78 years now dedicated to assisting the community, especially the needs of the deceased’s relatives. These workers have witnessed various individuals perish from this world, therefore their insights would shed light on this theme of whether they still fear death or not, among other things.
When the Funeral service’s manager and the driver were asked the question “Are you afraid of death?”, they both have different answers. Sir Ryan, the manager—who started in 2016 in Funeraria Filipinas Inc, stated that he is afraid of death because for him, “Ang kamatayan parang isang hukom ‘to eh. Hukom ng Lord natin” while the driver named Sir Edwin stated no because he believes that death will come if its already your time and fate. Everyone will go there at some point in their lives.
“Are you afraid of death?”
Why Filipinos avoid the topic, Death?
Mr. Edwin (45) and Ryan (37) were asked about why they think the topic of death is being avoided by Filipinos. Similarly, their answers are connected to the answers of previous interviewees interviewed. They both mentioned that Filipinos avoid the topic as they are scared, especially of leaving their families behind. They also mentioned that Filipinos don’t want to talk with their families regarding their deaths because of the Filipino culture that sees death in a negative light.
How do you handle the emotions of the families?
Since their job requires them to interact with the family members of the deceased, they were also asked how they handle the emotions of the mourning families. For them, the best they can do is to give their utmost respect to the family of the deceased as they are having a hard time. It is also important to provide what they need and what they want, assuring them that their family member will be fine in the hands of the funerary.
DOCTORS OF THE DEAD
Meanwhile, the embalmer who serves as an essential worker preparing and preserving the bodies of the dead also has his own sentiment on the topic of death. Sir Jonathan, also known as the “Doctors of the dead”, is a phrase based on the Filipino term “Manggagamot ng Patay” because just like a doctor who gives medicines, the embalmer’s process of embalming involves dehydrating the body and putting preservatives, like a chemical called formaldehyde. After that, as an embalmer and also a mortuary cosmetologist, he puts on makeup and clothes on the dead which shows the tedious procedure they take on to properly make the departed presentable for their burial.
With regards to the concept of death, click on the video below to learn more and find out about the embalmer/mortuary cosmetologist’s stance on the following questions: “Are you afraid of death?”, “What is your definition of death?”, “Why do Filipinos struggle to talk about death?” and other questions.
Seeing the responses of the funerary workers allowed us to see the realities in their lives that we do not usually hear about. Compared to ordinary people who mostly do not think about the end of their lives or don’t plan yet about it, funeral workers do not have to worry about their death as the funerary where they work will automatically provide them with their funeral for free.
“Siguro 90% sa mga nagtatrabaho sa punerarya walang nag-iisip ng ganon [na nag-aalala sa kanilang funeral]”
Most of the funeral workers interviewed has already their plan settled or envisioned to work in the future, some of them have insurance and are willing to get one, just depending on their financial situation. Whereas ordinary people interviewed have their ideas on how they want to rest when they die, mentioning burial and cremation as their options. Despite that, there are still some of them who are willing to take and apply for funeral insurance, but it is not often their priority, showing the differences in the perspective of funeral workers and ordinary Filipinos with various backgrounds when it comes to death and pre-planning their funeral.
As previously mentioned, no one knows when and where grim reapers will knock on your doors and fetch you which drives other people to think about considering pre-planning for funerals because most of them know that choosing to set aside this matter will only cause inconvenience and problems to those people who will be left behind.
In the Philippines, “The longer a funeral is held, the more expensive it gets” (Pagkatotohanan, 2023). The cost of a funeral may range from Php 100,000 to more than Php 500,000 depending on the memorial package, casket (wooden or metal, simple or with designs), clothes, rental for memorial chapel, and funeral ceremony you will avail as well as foods you’ll provide for the funeral visitors. The cost of the memorial lot and burial services are also different expenses. Most memorial lots if it's in apartment tombs, may cost Php 3,000 to 5,000, private lots may cost around Php 100,000, while mausoleums may be more than Php 1 Million. This illustrates how expensive it is to die and without proper planning, a lot of people will struggle to make a decent memorial and burial.
Due to this, the majority of the individuals mentioned that even though funerals are still way ahead of our time, as early as possible, it is essential to plan and look for possible ways to lessen the burden left on loved ones once a person unexpectedly passes away.
Looking at the Philippines’ current state, particularly the socio-economic landscape, and the inflation rate that continuously increases each coming month or day, the significance of planning for the funeral is seen.
From their statements, two aspects to consider are pointed out—practicality and financial. These two are the reasons why planning and availing insurance are fundamental because life is not constant. Circumstances can change and because of this, we have to look ahead to what’s in the future and invest those funds in these life and memorial plans.
Even though people would find it weird, invest now because as Miro argued. We need to normalize talking about death and funeral plans because this would help not only yourself but also your family who will be busy grieving.
“pag nagpaplanning sila ng para sa funeral nila, ginagawa nila yun para sa mga mahal nila sa buhay kasi alam mo yun hindi lang siya sa pagkawala. Hindi lang siya emotionally draining, hindi lang siya emotionally nakakaapekto sa tao eh pero financially din”.
Miro
We need to normalize talking about death and funeral plans because this would help not only yourself but also your family who will be busy grieving.
Miro
“ang mahal ng gastusin tapos lalo na pag wala kayong ipon, kawawa yung mga maiiwan kasi saan sila kukuha ng pera, saan siila bibili ng kabaong, tapos yungg funeral pa ang mahal mahal. Kaya mas better na magplan ka para sa death mo para hindi kawawa yung mga naiiwan”
Eunice
“Malaking kabawasan yun para sa mga expenses na mangyayari dahil knowing nga ngayon, napakahirap mabuhay sa bansa na mataas ang inflation. Mataas ang demand so kailangan talaga nating magsurvive kahit na financially challenged. So these kinds of insurance and life plan will definitely save a cent or thousands of money pag dating sa gan’tong incident or pangyayari.”
On the other side of the coin, there are instances where funeral planning is the least of priority because some would say that if they are financially stable, they don’t need one or some lives in the present moment and doesn’t want to worry about these kinds of plans, ignoring the fact that there are several possibility that anytime soon, the threads will be cut.
Death or Dying are sometimes foreseen as “Malayo pa” and “it’s not yet their time” but sometimes, expect the unexpected. Remember that It’s not always rainbows and sunshine, there will be a time when a big thunderstorm will come your way. With pre-planning, the future will be hassle-free and you will be ready to face everything.
Overall...
There are so many things that happen in our lives. As we explore, face life challenges, and do our responsibilities, we lose sight of death. It blinds us to see the possibility that anytime, it could knock on our doors. Death might be a difficult topic to talk about, especially in the Philippine context, but despite that, it is still something that occurs to everyone and, therefore, we cannot fully avoid and should not avoid talking about it. Even though it is mostly taken or talked about as a joke on various occasions, it is important to know that planning and having an investment for your funeral in the future is one of the great long-term plans for your family and yourself.
Other References:
Valin, P. (2019, March 1). The Art and Science of Embalming Bodies (And Everything Else You Need to Know). Medium. Retrieved December 9, 2023, from https://medium.com/high-net-worth/the-art-and-science-of-embalming-bodies-and-everything-else-you-need-to-know-b89bf15e45f0
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